Biggest hiccup

When i got home late last night, I found out that a cheque I gave to my mother was sent home. It was returned apparently due to insufficient funds. Which i found odd because i added the extra funds within the grace time limit. So much for a chilled out day. The whole night i couldn't sleep. Worried about what might happen with this little mistake.

I remembered couple months back, my friend said that if you had a bounced cheque then you'll be black listed by Bank Negara. So yah, the whole night tossing and turning and sweating non stop. Worried of what would've become to my company. My baby company. Just started out and already making a stint. Finally got to sleep around 5 ish am and woke up just in time for the bank to open.


When i got to the bank i was sweating pearls. I waited for the manager and when he finally came i was drenched. He gave me a little smile maybe to ease my nerves. We got down to it. He checked all my records. Finally he said there isn't much he could do but offer me an advice to just be more careful when writing out a cheque. He said it is a bummer that i miss the grace time by a couple of minutes when adding the additional cash but its how it work.


So the verdict is pretty this, my company will be in a "list". This list monitors your transactions for 6 months. IF you behave and don't do anything wrong then you'll be out of it hopefully. But it'll still remain in records. Basically, it'll be a slight problem if i wish to take up a loan later on down the road.

As for Bank NEgara, he said i didn't have to write a letter but just be prepare if it comes my way but besides that i've just been penalised RM 100 and added into the "list". The biggest hiccup for me . An expensive lesson most definitely. Boy am i gonna check my cheques properly now.

To buy or not to buy that is the question???!!!

I absolutely love this sleek camera. It easy to carry and it has everything you need. Its slim enough to carry everywhere and take it to any occassion. Lately i've been feeling alil off for not having a camera to document my happy or sad times.

I've been contemplating this past couple of months. When i first saw it, my god it was costly and then now my boyfriend saw this camera fair in One Utama and it seems they took off a couple of hundred for this model. Now i'm very very tempted. I don't know should i get it ? but its a good bargain. I just purchase myself a macbook i cant be splurging.

Arghhhhh!!! Frustrating.!! i guess its back to the drawing board. Well more like excel la and do my accounts. See where the money are..dang!! stress big time.


Gotta make more money it is yooo!!!

Selfish you

Sometimes i wonder, do you stop to think whether you're self centered.
Do you not care about anything around you but yourself.
Couldn't you maybe stop, and think she hurts too. She's in pain.
She needs a man to stand. Talk to her.Fill her with the energy she so need.

Do you ever maybe want to hear her voice. The cries of her inner soul.
Instead of drowning hers with your own. Couldnt you just take a step, a step on your
own and not when she screams. Why is it hard? hard to see what is really beneath
the whole scene.

Must it be said repeatedly, what she needs? Couldnt you put yourself in her place
and feel what she feels? Isnt' it apparent what is wrong. Don't take it forgranted
when everything is so quiet.


Her worth is at stake, you fail she'll fade.
Listen close, listen well. To the messages she with held.
For all she needs is close. Close to you and in your heart.

Numerology

Your Life Path Number is 6
Your Life Path Number represents the path you should take through life and the talents and skills you have to make your journey a rewarding one.

Your Path will lead you to build a warm home life and a stable, rewarding career. You live responsibly and learn to maintain a balance between what you give and what you receive. You are sympathetic, caring and able to give good counsel. These are qualities others will come to you for many times in your life. You see the beauty in the world and in those around you--enjoy your vision.

Your Life Destiny Number is 2
Your Destiny Number sheds light on those things you must accomplish in your life to be fulfilled.

If your Destiny Number is 2, your purpose in life is to create and maintain balance and harmony amongst others. You make a great team player--not because you can lead your team to victory, but because you can keep the team together until victory is attained.

Your Soul Number is 3
Your Soul Number describes your deepest desires and dreams and the person you truly want to be.

You desire to make people happy, laugh, and be all they can be. You want to create, have fun, and remain ever enthusiastic. You are a lover of life, and will do all you can to ensure those around you are aware of just how grand a gift life is.

Your Personality Number is 8
Your Personality Number reveals the "external you"--the personality traits others will know you by.

The 8 Personality is ambitious, influential and powerful. They radiate strength to the point of seeming larger than life. 8 Personalities are destined to lead others. They are balanced and slightly conservative. Their confidence assures others will have confidence in them as well.

Your Maturity Number is 8
Your Maturity Number reveals the person you will come to be--your true self.

Those with an 8 as their Maturity Number will find rewards through their accomplishments. Their early lives will be spent learning how to apply power without becoming dictatorial and finding a balance between the material and spiritual world. As you mature you will be called upon more and more often to lead others. If you learn to apply authority without becoming tyrannical you may well be thought of as one of the world's great leaders in your later years.

How

i didn't come this far for you to make this hard for me.
and now you want to ask me "how?"
it's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?

why did you come here?
you weren't invited.
and you're on the outside - stay on the outside.
and now you want to ask me "why?"
it's like - why does your heart beat, and how do you cry?
how does your heart beat?

and there are some things that i'd like to figure out.
there are some things that i can do without -
like you and your letters that go on forever,
and you, and the people that were never friends.

with all the things that you could be,
you never could learn how to be me.
and now you want to ask me "how?"
it's like - how does your heart beat, and why do you breathe?
how does you heart beat, and why do you breathe?

Acceptance

You spend your entire life wanting to be accepted by everything and everyone. You try hard at making yourself be like able and accepted, but some how its never enough. You come to a point in your life when you just stop even wanting to try. Try to make people understand you. Try to make them get what you're all about. Its just so insufferable having to elaborate everything about you.


You just have come to terms with everything. Accept who you are, for what you are and move on. To hell to those who claims to know you. Know your ins and outs. And to the mother who says that you're like any another predictable book, when in truth she has no idea where the true beginning is or where the end ends. Just to hell to them all.


Now its all about embarking on a true journey of self acceptance and love. Nothing else. Fight for you and only you. Strive for what you want and need to survive. Be well and healthy for you. Be all that you can be to succeed. It is all that you need.

Yoga alalalalalalall!!!

Finally came around to doing some excersice after a long while. Was kinda nervous at first but then I got into the groove . Well so i thought. At first it was normal stuff but when you come down to warrior pose and dog fighting pose you start to feel all your joints creaking. Especially my left knee, caused i injured it a few months back.

I made the loudest cricking sound with knee when we did the warrior pose. Goes to show everything is rusty. I'm glad the session wasnt too much. It was hatha yoga chill enough for a beginner. I think after a few classes everything will be alright. The instructor was sweet didn't catch her name though. I think its Natasha. She was incredible. For someone 8 months pregnant she can sure ass stretch. Much respect yo!

Cant' wait to go again. Frankly i'm over weight as it is. And ohh i cut my long hair today.Wanted something new hehehe. Lurve it for now.

Why ? why? why?

I don't know what's wrong. I don't know why I have this sad feelings. I don't know why I feel like crying at times. Mostly in the morning. I wake up and i just feel this sadness from the pit of my heart. Is it because I'm not productive?
I'm so upset with myself for letting the sadness get to me.

At times, all the emotion tend to spill over to people around me.And it hurts them. I don't know how to stop it. I don't know what to do to be more assertive. I always thought that by unleashing what's inside would make things better.It turns out that it didn't. I found out the hard way yesterday. My own destructive actions nearly cost something dear to me. I just don't get it sometimes how i can be so careless about my feelings.

I feel like those girls who'd slash their hands to feel something but I do it by being emotionally destructive when things gets crazy or out of my hands. Even when i'm happy, i'll wonder to myself, "why am i happy?" I scrutinize every possible thing. Figuring out the quirks of that happiness i just achieved. It sounds crazy i know but i just can't stop myself from over analyzing things.

I thought i had my life on track. I thought for this moment its all figured out. I guess i'm still afraid of the unknown. I read somewhere everything good has risk in it. I'm on the edge. To jump is such a huge temptation but the last step is scaring me to bits. I have to do something. I have to change something. I need to feel in control again. Have a part of myself back. When will my courage kicks in