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Woke up today, with one of those bad feelings. The type that makes you want to go back into bed and hide under your covers for the whole entire day and just wallow in your sadness and depression. It's a wonder isnt' it, how words can effect you. Especially when negative things are being said about you by someone you used to have a lot of care for.
Regardless what is said true or not, sometimes it just gets to you. Especially when you've been having such a vulnerable week. But today was a different sort of grey. How death could just snap you back into perspective. It tells you that there's so much more in life to look forward to rather than worried about some negative people and their theories of you they've concocted in their stupid and boring life.
In facing death today, a sudden realization came to light, it doesn't mean anything if no attention is given to it. It doesn't mean anything, if there isn't any reaction. In life, you do what you can and not be worried about not being liked. Cause it doesn't work that way. Be as good as you can be and as true to yourself as much as you can. Visualize the good and positive.
For my uncle, Al- Fatihah..
How do you value a person? Looks? Money? Stature? Intelligence? Religion? Is it crucial for you to value a person to begin with. Why must there be a value filtering system, when it comes to choosing friends or life partners? Why isnt it not enough, when the people you're with are kind, happy and compassionate. Doesn't that criteria matters anymore. I just dont understand why do society need all those temporary "leg up" to build a friendship or relationship.
Those temporary advantages, will eventually fade. I wonder, if those self absorb , wealth and beauty driven people are aware of this. Don't they ever stop to think that one day, it'll be swept right under their feet? To a certain extend I doubt they would, as a friend of mine said " it's the fall of our local society, so hung up with rank, beauty and wealth".
It's as if having a title makes them less human but gods and goddess. Just because with title, they get first choice of everything makes them feel they're better than everyone. Well mate, If i stab you, you'd still bleed. Your blood is as red as mine. Doesn't make you any different from me just because you have a title up front of you blardy name.
For once, I just wish these people would just get off they fucking high horse and realise the whole deal. All those earthly bound things, means jack when you die. Means nothing when it comes to matter of emotions or well being. I just wish something hard just thuds their head and it all comes into place for them. But then again, a girl can wish so much.
I'm sure you heard of this story before, that god created seven versions of you. And he spreads them all over the globe for you to find one another in the end.
I think I found my fourth. By fluke I found her and her name is like mine.Exactly spelled the same way. I was drawned to her blog by her little write up about herself.
I was further intrigued by her when I saw her illustration. The more i read her blog the more alike I feel we are. She has plenty insights on things. Where she is now, is where i want to be in a couple of years. Basically having it all at the age of 30- 31?? Accomplished, happy and content. Happily married and with a kid and a career that makes me happy.
Lately, all that seems so far. All I have to show for is a startup company, that I'm quite happy with. As for love, the jury is still out on that. So back to focusing on what works.In this case WORK!! *laughs*
Do check her blog out. She's quite a character.
