Breathing...

One minute you're this and then you're another?

A night of all nights I can't seem to fall asleep. Thoughts keeps on popping in my head. Maybe its the hormone in balance. Maybe its the cosmos. Who knows but its definitely in the air. One thing that kept on bugging me, is how people change when they've come out of a relationship. They've become an entirely different person.

I just don't get that. Why do you have to change? Why do you have to change the essence of you? I find that, I fall more out of love with my exs because of this.The whole sudden transformation. I can't even hang on to them as friends coz I don't know them. They change before my very eyes. Whenever i see them or bump into them at some function, I realise the person i fell for is no longer there. What stands before me is a complete stranger. A stranger that on a normal day, I wouldn't even give him a second glance.

The question that lingers in my head is, "Is it so bad to be reminded of someone that you love and once share a part of you with them?" " Is that why you have to change everything around you, so you wouldn't be reminded of the memories, the love?"
and is it so bad to show how you still feel for you ex?

Some of you out there might say Yes and some might say No to the questions above. As for me, I'm not one to hide how i feel. I don't believe in games. I believe in letting the other person know how I feel inside. Tell them what they're worth to me and how much i love and care for them. That's why, I am who I am. I don't change my essence because it defines me as me. I want my my past and future love to know that what ever he and i went through is special and no one cant take it a way. No relationship share the same kind of love.

But then again, you can never control another humans emotion. If they chose to let you go without realising your worth and not fight for you, then its pretty evident that you mean absolutely jack shit to them. They can say anything later on down the road but for me when they don't initiate anything from the beginning then it's pointless. Its funny i've only realise all this after so long but a minute longer is better than never. My only regret in the whole fiasco is that I allowed myself to be used but as the good book said " Don't be ashamed of your goodness, you are what you are regardless of how people defines you. Do good and help those in need". I'll try my very best to do that without any prejudice..For now that's all i can do *smile*

And we froze...!!!!

I received this invite couple days back from this organisation called Randomalphabets.com. The invite reads "KL Freeze in Unison. 2.30pm. Sunday 13th April.Where human beings get together to do something in unison, without speeches or reference to their age, colour, sex, beliefs and background"


At first I didn't get the whole thing, until the next day i got an email from a friend asking me to check my mailbox. Apparently they had release the location of the "Freeze Point". I find this whole thing ridiculous but i had nothing better to do on Sunday i decided to just wing it. Sent a message RSVP-ing my attendance and check out the list of people going on facebook. To my surprise the the number of people attending was HUGE!!! i think around 900++. I got be excited. The fact that it was a covert mission and a big one at that I just wanted to be apart of it. I mean its just 4 minutes. WHat is 4 minutes out of your entire day right.

So come Sunday (today), we ( Jess, Razak, Lim and I ) headed to the briefing point, which was in LOT 10. When we gathered there, you could see everyone around was really weird out. Even the guards freaked out at the numbers of young people gathering around. We waited for the agent to come with the little orange flyers to tell us our "Freeze Point" By 2.30pm we got our flyers and headed out to Pavillion. Everyone had a different location to FREEZE. We were told to freeze right after the fashion show ended. 5 minutes before the fashion show ended we went to our designated freeze area but for some reason there were some sort of confusion we headed back to the central area (where the fashion show was) we saw almost everyone froze. Jess and i freaked out coz we thought we missed it but we jsut decided to just freeze anyway.

It was completely hilarious. We had people crashing into us. We had them take our pictures. Heard some comments like " Ohh don't worry honey is one of those thing on youtube. Where they freeze for a few minutes and then walk off" It was just out of this world. Definetly and odd experience.

We unfreezed after we heard the head of the organisation clapped and screamed. The news people showed up interviewed people it was wild. The pavillion management wasn't too happy about the whole thing. Big drama angry bald guy charging at the news people. The last freeze i heard ended up on the news. I think this one will for sheer number of people that turned up.

Im so happy that all the younger generation are up for this peaceful show of union. No violence , no words but action. In the end only that works.GOOD JOB guys!!!

Here's a sample video from youtube of a freeze in New York.Check it out

And I just realized...

I've listened to this song on the radio million of times but her words didn't effect me before as it did now. I find it rather odd. Out of the blue the words just strike right into my heart. I didn't cry or anything but i felt this jolt of sorrow. I havent been feeling those sort of feelings awhile. I guess I've been blocking it out.

Funny how a simple song like this, an everyday song could give such an effect. Since it strike right on the money, its pretty obvious that one would start pondering about it. At first i thought it was my ex that i felt this way for but honestly it wasnt. When it came to him, there are scars ofcourse but most of all just utter blankness. I guess when you made out your mind to take a day as a new day everything else just melts away.

I think i know who I have this feelings for but I'm not entirely sure. It might just be a passing emotions. For now, we'll just have to lock up all the boxes and just let it all runs its course. Enjoy the song guys..