Monday 6 April 2009

Just like the movies....

You know those stories we watch on the telly or at the movies that tell us of a mediocre man who falls for a rich and beautiful girl. Who in the end, ends up with someone equally match in looks and wealth. He tries his best to please her within his means but it'll never be enough. She'll never see him for what he's worth.

I never thought I'd ever be in his situation, the mediocre man.Today I felt how it was like to be in his shoes and i finally get it all. You see for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling for this one person. About a year back, we made it transparent but decided to basically not pursue it. Well he did, i didn't. I wanted to see where things might've lead us. Basically i had my heart on the platter he just smashed it to pieces.

I forgave him over time. Thinking that we've been friends close to 5 years why fuck up a completely good friendship. Today i learned that I don't even have that. I was delusional all this while.Here i was trying to make the grand gesture, so the dude wouldn't miss Jamiroquai by surprising him with a ticket. Yah it wasn't worth much but in the end it'll still get u in to the concert area and that was what matters to me. I didn't want him to feel left out just because he was broke and filled with pride to accept a ticket purchased by me. So i lied i said i got it for free from a friend. When in actual fact i bought it so he wouldn't miss his favourite band.

Ended up, he bailed on me for a free Grand Stand ticket. Funny thing was he never once mentioned that he was getting tickets else where. The other thing was i booked him way before everything because i wanted to surprise him. When i finally told him i actually bought the tickets, instead of feeling guilty, he instead suggested i sell it off to his brother. I was just in shocked. The plan was getting the same tickets and going together (coz u had to pay some special pass to park in sepang) and so happen his friend had those pass. I was literally counting on him for a ride there. So now all gutted and left high and dry, I was super close to not going because of my supposed dear "friend". After venting out my pain, I decided to not let what happen get to me. Fuck it! He's not worth it. I can finally say it.His actions says it all.

That's why I can't be mad at him coz in the end truthfully I was stupid to believe and hope he'd see it..he'd see me but yah as his actions states I mean absolutely jack shit to him. I know if he reads this he'd say " I never asked you to buy the tickets" and its true he never did. I just wanted him to know that for him I'd do a lot to make him happy and feel special. I'd even sacrifice an actual good free seat to be where he'd be coz i didn't want him to be alone. In the end, thinking about others doesn't get u any where...u'd just get hurt in the process..

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