Actions VS Words

I noticed that lately, the guys that I've been going out with are constantly giving me mixed signals. Back in the day, say 5 years ago I don't remember encountering this sorta dilemma.

It's either I like you or I don't. Plain and simple. Just the way I like it *laughs* but yah nowdays you can't tell anymore. For the past 6 months or so there was only one guy i dated who was solid. The rest were either I like you (and they say this) but I don't know, things are complicated la de da. The other set would show me with his actions but when it comes to a certain point they stop. Don't ask me why coz I dont know and I didn't bother asking them.Why push for someone's affections when they are not willing to give it to you...*mehh*

So yah nowdays you can never tell. Before if a guy were to reach out for your hand, or tries to hug you in the movies or kisses you goodnight after a good day out means they want to go steady.They want you to be their girl. Things has changed. You can't take their words entirely when their actions aren't the same or vice versa. You can't say someone is together just because you saw them hugging one another (intimately) or holding hands.

I brought up this issue to several of my guy friends and according to them when it comes to men, I can almost always trust their actions. Why? because with actions is like a form of habit or ritual is something they can't hide as well as words. It's like in their nature.If i wanted to know if they guy really liked me I should observe his actions carefully.His body language,his gestures and the way he looks at me.If it all seems to be positive and he's doing everything and anything to gain my attention then he's smitten.

Armed with this knowledge, I'm still quite sceptical. I guess we'd just have to wait and see. Believe me I am in no rush to be with someone. I have all the time to see the outcome.

Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

If you are one of my closes friends and family you'd know that I don't do jelly-like texture. Be it on dessert, meat, seafood. ANYTHING jelly-like.NO NO NO NO!!! DIE YOU FIEND!

With such intense hate *laughs* why would you even bother wasting your time suggesting the idea of trying to eat snails to me. Not just any snails but garden snails at that.Ugh! the idea of it makes me wanna hurl!

How could you consume something so nasty as a garden snail? You see it in your garden walking, well more like crawling ever so slowly across your lawn *ugh!!!* Nasty! I don't care that you wash it clean, seasoned it and then saute the lil rascal. It's still NASTY!

And no i'm not ignorant for you haters out there. I tried it once and NO! it wouldn't take a few tries before i like it. Once was enough.Horrible experience ever! Till this day i'm still traumatized by the experience.

Fuck You It's Over

When i go through something really upsetting, I almost always can't seem to word it out. Ok that's not true, I can but not with the sorta angst and intensity i want it to be.

My usual solution is to find a specific band with a specific song that'll match my feeling in all its song and lyric.

For today I'm feeling this band. It was introduced to me by a friend few months back. I didn't take an instant liking to it but after a few play I got alil hooked. So yah I think currently their in the midst of coming up with a new album.

I'm currently hooked on their song "Fuck you it's over" and for of course an apparent reason (check the blog below and you'll get it ) *laughs* so yah the lyric says it all and i'm glad. I'll leave you to the lyric of things song.

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I gave you all the love,

A boy could ever need,
And in this world there's only one of me,

And all there is left,
Is the realisation,
That we we're never meant to be,

Fuck you,
Fuck you,
It's Over,

Fuck you,
Fuck you,
It's Over,

I've been lost since I woke up,
Broked since we broke up,
Vanished by your heart,

Remember it when,
You promised me how,
This time this christmas things would be different by now,

Fuck you,
Fuck you,
It's Over,

Fuck you,
Fuck you,
It's Over,

Middle Eight
All I wanted was to be,
Where your heart is,
But that's all changed now,
Now you're dead to me,

You're dead,
You're dead,
You're dead,
You're dead,

Fuck You,
Fuck You,
It's Over,

For You,
For You,
It's Over,

Fuck You,
For You,
It's Over,

For You,
For You,
It's Over,
Ahh,

Just like the movies....

You know those stories we watch on the telly or at the movies that tell us of a mediocre man who falls for a rich and beautiful girl. Who in the end, ends up with someone equally match in looks and wealth. He tries his best to please her within his means but it'll never be enough. She'll never see him for what he's worth.

I never thought I'd ever be in his situation, the mediocre man.Today I felt how it was like to be in his shoes and i finally get it all. You see for as long as I can remember, I've had this feeling for this one person. About a year back, we made it transparent but decided to basically not pursue it. Well he did, i didn't. I wanted to see where things might've lead us. Basically i had my heart on the platter he just smashed it to pieces.

I forgave him over time. Thinking that we've been friends close to 5 years why fuck up a completely good friendship. Today i learned that I don't even have that. I was delusional all this while.Here i was trying to make the grand gesture, so the dude wouldn't miss Jamiroquai by surprising him with a ticket. Yah it wasn't worth much but in the end it'll still get u in to the concert area and that was what matters to me. I didn't want him to feel left out just because he was broke and filled with pride to accept a ticket purchased by me. So i lied i said i got it for free from a friend. When in actual fact i bought it so he wouldn't miss his favourite band.

Ended up, he bailed on me for a free Grand Stand ticket. Funny thing was he never once mentioned that he was getting tickets else where. The other thing was i booked him way before everything because i wanted to surprise him. When i finally told him i actually bought the tickets, instead of feeling guilty, he instead suggested i sell it off to his brother. I was just in shocked. The plan was getting the same tickets and going together (coz u had to pay some special pass to park in sepang) and so happen his friend had those pass. I was literally counting on him for a ride there. So now all gutted and left high and dry, I was super close to not going because of my supposed dear "friend". After venting out my pain, I decided to not let what happen get to me. Fuck it! He's not worth it. I can finally say it.His actions says it all.

That's why I can't be mad at him coz in the end truthfully I was stupid to believe and hope he'd see it..he'd see me but yah as his actions states I mean absolutely jack shit to him. I know if he reads this he'd say " I never asked you to buy the tickets" and its true he never did. I just wanted him to know that for him I'd do a lot to make him happy and feel special. I'd even sacrifice an actual good free seat to be where he'd be coz i didn't want him to be alone. In the end, thinking about others doesn't get u any where...u'd just get hurt in the process..

Kicks for Chicks

Girls and their shoes, its a never ending story but it is what it is so why question it right! You can never go wrong with shoes. They just make you feel like a million bucks after a hard day of work. Sometimes they even give you a lil boost of confidence. Almost all girls love high heels shoes. For me the pointier the better. And if its 3 inch onwards I'll buy in a instant.Ofcourse if the design is to my liking that is.I love them heels coz they just perk up my lil derriere section *laughs*. Plus they're just super sexy.

Though i love them to bits. I've always been the "go for comfort" sorta girl when it comes to shoes and i love nothing more than my canvas flats. They're super comfortable. They come in different designs and colours. Their designs are simple not much frilly bits around it. It almost always fit any occassion and its soo laid back at the same time. I love it. The picture above is some I came across while surfing the net.Enjoy..*wink*