You come first

You can only be so nice some of the time and the balance of it all, you need to sit down and think whether the person that you're helping really deserves it. You NEED to be realistic and logical. Why? because most of the time you can't help everyone at one go. And you can't help them when you're not happy and strong first. It just takes a lot out of you.

You HAVE to come first or what ever you've done, be it helping someone, It would all be in vain because you'll start doubting the sincerity of it all. It takes a big person to give and not expect anything in return. And it takes a bigger person to give and help others and then get bitched at in return.

It just drains you out, this whole gig, helping out and being the nice guy. Doesn't give you the self worth that you need. You do get the occasional " Yah i did something good today. I've contributed" but that's pretty much it. You have that one minute of goodness and then it just disappears like smoke.

I recently read this book "Dont Be Sad" and it said that you can't be upset with yourself for being nice and helpful. And you cant be upset that there are assholes in the world that doesn't appreciate you and your worth. They're just built that way and so are you..you're just built with alot of goodness. In other words we can't get in a twist if people are just mean and crappy to you. You just gotta be you and remain as you even though you'll cross path with a couple of assholes along the way. It's easier said that done ofcourse because these are feelings we're dealing with. I know its been rather hard for me but i can at least say i try and that for now is good enough for me. There's some progress.

So to the assholes of the world WATCH OUT coz this bitch is on the loose and she's coming to the theatres near you.Hang on to your hats and panties all hell's gonna break loose.