My favourite man

                                                                             

( Photo credit to netherlands.lookbook.nu ) 

Going through this website called Lookbook. It's like facebook but it focuses more on individual with fashion in mind. They put up visuals of what they like to wear or what interest them in fashion. I'm completely in love with this website. Thanks MISS Lin for introducing me to this site. I"m completely 

obsessed.

Anyway, was scrolling through and i saw this guy ( image right ) Ok shallow time, he would be the most ideal looking man for me. Everything about him physically, is what i look at in a man.

Right kind of skinny. Right kind of built. His fashion sense is just right!!!

where oh where can i find this man!!! Here's hoping for more men like this in 2009. 

the end..

Another week and 2008 comes to an end. When I look back, its just so surreal how time just flies. Part of me is glad that it came and went just like that but another part dreads the end.

I'm not one to reminisce but for 2008,it has been quite an adventure. Both good and bad. Most of all, I found a little of myself then i have in the past years and Im glad.

Simplicity and reality has been the guiding force for this year. After the whole debacle with the ex, I've decided to not load myself with such enormous burden unless necessary. Taking my time in everything be it work..friends..or love. I've made a promise to not bulldoze into something i have no actual grasp on. Sticking to it has brought me much happiness.

Looking and living through a fresh perspective, has made me more patient, tolerant and slightly more forgiving of people's ignorance and idiocies ( yes girls, i'm working on my forgiving bit, not easy i'd might add ). There has been moments that i had to undergo such bewilderment. To this day i still shake my head to it when ever i recall the incident.I guess i believe and have to much hope in the goodness of people.Then again, changing a person is never my thing.I discoverd by saying things as it is and calling off all Bullshit has lifted the curtain of misconception and the idealism of how life should be. Most of the time, I feel like the shot above. I pace myself in order to see what is real and what is not.

The stillness of it all before all hell breaks loose. 

No more fairy-tale and romanticism. No more being sucked and pressured into doing something. No more pleasing the society. No more blending in. No more disrespect. 

Living life real,simple,honest and with my instinct...

When we are wise..

Remember when you were a lot younger there were certain things..scent..colours that you didn't particularly like. You'd frown when ever you see...touch..or smell those particular things. When I was in my younger years..i disliked anything colourful. Pretty much stayed with black,blue,brown and white most of my life. I disliked any scent that was musky or flowery..I find it tickled my nose. I disliked most things bombarded with flowers. Especially those Italian wooden chair, the type of chair you would find in a typical malay house. Gaudy looking, with bright mismatch colour and patterns.

As i grew wiser, I notice some of my dislikes faded but some stayed. My dislikes for colourful clothing went by like a flash. I now am a colourful believer. My dislikes for those Italian furniture sadly, still remains. Personally, I feel the person who came up with those furniture designs were either blind or drunk when he was drawing up the idea. I still don't understand why all the local big shots and wealthy still buy those hideous looking excuse for a furniture.

I guess with money doesn't mean you get style. Ah well..god is fair.

The most recent thing I found out and could knock off my dislike list is the scent of musk. I found that I'm rather alright with it. I thought as i grew wiser, I'd still have a slight distaste towards it but yah amazingly i was fine. Nose didn't tickled. Didn't sneeze a frenzy. I was utterly captivated by the smell. Maybe because it was on a man's neck when i smelled it. When I caught a whiff of that scent, I was bemused. I quickly asked him what brand of perfume it was..and he answered "Dunhill" and i was shocked. Never in a million years I'd thought i'd be utterly captivated let alone wanting to smell more of this scent.

When I told my "discovery" to my friend she said " We're just getting old dear" and laughed. Stating that, she solved the mystery..

Something about music..

I love love love music...I can't live without it. It's like an extension of me. It says things i can't say.When ever i share music with someone , its my way of saying you matter to me. And if i sing to them..and i look them right into their eyes...i want them to see my soul. It my grand gesture so to speak. Because of that i go to great length to find songs that speaks..not just to me but to the people i care...and love. 

Constantly looking for good music gives me the drive to wake up every morning and live. Now being here in Melbourne, I feel like crying. There's good music everywhere. You switch on the radio...there it is GOOD BLARDY MUSIC!!! You go out and there it is at the corner of your house, a great cafe with excellent latte!!!! and a KICK ASS Record store!!! and the weather!!! sheessh absolutely FANTASTIQUE!!!! ( with a slight aussie accent ) . Dont' get me started with the creative environment here. It's just so positive. They take music and art seriously that at times i had to pinch myself. Im really dreading leaving..I'm seriously considering moving here..and im not kidding.

Everything here seems to just fit. Everything make sense. The best thing, you feel like you matter people take you seriously when you talk about concepts. Is just so refreshing that they're not all agro and egoistical. Everything seems much clearer now. It's just simple..

Change..

What is Change? according to the dictionary, change is : to make or become different. When do you change?, for who would you change? and for what cause would you change? I find it these days, people change for absolutely absurd reasons. Most of the time it occurs when they're in a relationship. They change for their loves ones because they feel it'll help the relationship. When almost every time, it doesn't because the basis of the relationship was made on something unreal.

For me change or wanting to be different has to come on its own. It's something i believe that you can not and must not force. When it does not come on its own free will, it'll never work. It will never be honest. It won't be you...Why change in the first place when what made you was the one that sold you to your other half..friends or family.. I believe that you weren't made solely to complete someone's life but rather be an accompaniment. I'd want to be with someone, who'd respect me for me and love me for me. Take me with all my messiness (if there's such a word ) especially my hair.. yes its messy at the back DEAL WITH IT!!!, the fact that i don't wear make up all the time but only on special occassions. Take me with all my absurd constant mumblings of everything and nothing. And no i will not wear those cute cheerleader skirts coz you think its cute!!!! Shut it! and the list goes on... *laughs* But yah..why change the essence that makes you..you.. The constant struggle of wanting to be liked and needed..

I've come to a stage in my life, where i know what i want and i'm not afraid to say what i want. Enough with all the sugar coating BULLSHIT. It'll be much simpler if everything is laid out and explained slowly. And if they can't accept it, its fine. It's not the end of the world...(though at time it feels like it) but yah..pick yourself up..dust yourself off..and walk up..is all you can do..

Friendly or too friendly?

I've always had this problem where people tend to misread my friendly ways. Some perceived it as being flirty. Granted at some point I can be a big flirt at times but to only quiet guys. I don't know why I do it maybe just to make the guy feel alil at ease with himself or maybe i simply like quiet guys or maybe im just plainly trying to make friends.

so yah my question , where do you draw the line between friendly and being too friendly? I've gone out with some men where by just rubbing their backs is considered as being too friendly.That act alone then was perceived as a sign of interest on my part. When in actual fact, is just how i show care and warmth. Even hugging now is considered too friendly. Ok given, it is not in our malay/islamic culture to hug another men who are not our 'muhrim'. Fine i'm modern , but yah trivial things such as that gets you in a loop.

At times, it gets really tiring for me to proof to people that things are not how it seems. Constantly stating that i'm not interested with the man i was friendly with. Is just odd that you constantly have to justify your actions. For me to like someone as in really like takes alot.. I could fall for them there and then and not tell them because i simply want to digest it all. Usually the one i like..i rarely show much coz i'm usually the last to know when it comes to the liking department. Yes! that's how blur i can get but that doesn't mean that by me being kind..warm..caring and friendly is a sign of flirtations. Ah well..guess sometimes it is how it is..you just cant change people's mind..

Yes!! you gotta Pay!!!

It sickens me to the bone, that my profession as a Designer is looked upon as 3rd rate in the profession pyramid. People here especially in South East Asia, they don't give designers such as myself much credit. Just because we're not part of the golden professional trinity 

( doctors, lawyers & engineers ) we don't deserve respect, better pay and better treatment. I've been in my industry for almost 5 years now and i've worked from the bottom. Everyday, from then is a constant struggle. We constantly have to deal with clients with issues of letting go. Some of these clients, don't understand how we function and work. 

They constantly bother you at every stage of the design process. They tell you how to do your work. What colors to choose. What concept to take. They demand unreasonable deadlines . They don't understand that good design takes time and when it involves print production in takes a minimum of 1 week and that is for offset. I find it absolutely redundant for them to hire a designer in the first place if they're gonna butt in all the time. If they can't trust a designer to do their job, don't hire one. DO IT YOURSELF!!

You don't see the doctor and tell him how to do his job RIGHT! You sit your ass down. You tell him what's wrong and he comes up with a diagnose and a prescription slip. Then out you go. You pay the man, business transaction complete. Why can't designer be treated as such? We do the job. Deliver it on time. Give you the best service money can buy but when it comes down to paying the bill, there's always problems. List of excuses i heard so far:

1. How come so expensive?

2. Your design so simple what!

3. My boss not in to sign the cheques

4. Can pay bit by bit ?

and the list goes on. Boy i wish i'd get a dollar for every excuses i've heard. Another classic problem is when a client refuses to pay for your services just because they decided not to use your designs. I say BOLLOCKS!!!! I don't blardy care if you don't use it. You still have to PAY!!! Creative consultation doesn't come free YO!! My ideas are my bread and butter. 

Try going to a lawyer and ask for an advice. Then treat him as you treat a graphic designer. Do you think, he'd let you walk out of his office without charging you ass EVEN though you disagreed with his advice / solution!!! No way in HELL. Expect a bill coming your way.

It is a service industry and it is subjective. 

All i ask is that, treat every profession with trust and much respect. Though they vary when placed side to side but they are specialist of their own sector. if you give them more, they will surprise you with their abilities.